Set Apart

Sacred* (adjective):
5 b: highly valued and important
5 a:  unassailable, inviolable
4 archaic:  accursed
3:  of or relating to religion
2 b: entitled to reverence and respect
2 a:  worthy of religious veneration,  holy
1 b: devoted exclusively to one service or use
1 a:  dedicated or set apart for the service or worship of a deity

So, I’m walking my little dog, and we come across a big pile of dog poop; apparently deposited there recently. While my dog is sniffing at it, I think how gross it is, just lying there, stinking. Then it speaks to me. It says, “Do I disgust you?”

“Well, yes,” I replied, rather surprised that excrement could talk. The latest symptom of my creeping senility, I suppose. “Yes you do disgust me, very much.”

“Good, for that is my purpose. I am set apart to cause revulsion.”

“I see.”

“It is my sacred calling to be the obnoxious distraction in your life, your impetus to stop and change course. For I am the Holy Shit.”

“Okay.” I waited a few seconds for a reply, but none came. “Is that it, then?” Still nothing.

So I scooped it up into my doggie poo bag and tossed it in the trash. I may not be very religious, but I am tidy. Other than that, not much going on here. How is your day so far?

 *Definition from Merriam-Webster.
Title image credit: Noisey: Music by Vice.
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